Life for now - but maybe Lymphoma

I took this photo today 12/22/11. Max grooms Honey.

Max and Honey are the first pair of cats that I have had who are bonded. Max was all of 4 lbs when we adopted him as a kitten. Honey immediately took to him. Smokey hissed at Honey (something new) as well as Max. We thought that he was angry at Honey for betraying him by bonding with Max.

Max has been losing weight for two years. He's been being treated for a presumed diagnosis. The other day I came home from my work as a hospice nurse and realized: he looks like one of my patients.

We got a second opinion: lymphoma versus a congenital malformation. Either sound pretty terminal to me. And so we await a very expensive test on Tuesday to tell me what I believe I already know: he looks like one of my patients.

Even the second opinion vet said "this is a last ditch effort". But I know. We are spending money to confirm that we have done everything possible to diagnosis and treat our young 3 1/2-year old cat. A worthy cat. With beautiful blue eyes. He wraps himself around the shoulders of my husband. He sleeps between my husband's legs underneath a quilt as my husband reads in his study. He skitters and dances with toys. He licks up food with gusto. And yet, still he loses weight.

This is the mystery of life: how we can live with vitality and yet have the seed of death unwinding within us.

Thank you, Max, for everything.